A Random Memory From 2nd Grade

I was eating peanuts today when I recalled something that happened when I was in second grade.

I was standing under a tree during lunchtime, when I noticed a whole peanut (still in shell) on the ground. After I pointed it out, a girl (C) proceeded to stomp on it, to crush it. Another girl (H) noticed and protested C’s stomping by saying, “Hey, it’s eatable.” After C had gotten enough satisfaction crushing the shell, or maybe H stopped her (I don’t remember), H picked out the eatable portions of the peanut (which surprisingly weren’t smashed) from within the shell, and walked off, eating them.

I was amused at the time because this was a three-person effort: I spotted the peanut, C crushed it open, and H ate it. I was a bit surprised that H was eating the peanut, for two reasons. At the time I had never eaten a peanut directly out of the shell before (we bought the jars of already roasted ones) so I didn’t know it was eatable in that form. Also, someone had stomped on the peanut.

I have a tendency to remember trivial things. I have not kept in touch with C and H, and I doubt they remember the incident.

Random question

One morning, you wake up and discover that your significant other has become a giant brownie (in the shape of him or her). There is a note addressed to you and signed by them saying that they have been irreversibly transformed into a brownie and their last desire would be for you to eat them, since they will otherwise go to waste. What would you do?

I don’t know why I randomly came up with that scenario, but we already knew that I am strange [and silly!].

I tried to put myself in that position. It would be very difficult for me. I would be sad to lose him, and given how the brownie is in the shape of him, I could not bear to eat it. I mean, had it been just a regular brownie, that might have made it easier. Thankfully, this is an unrealistic scenario that has no chance of happening.

Edit: Perhaps I didn’t make it clear, but I was joking when I came up with this.

Random Questions

  1. What makes certain dried fruits chewy?
  2. If while eating, you accidentally bite off a small piece of your mouth and swallow it, does that count as cannibalism?
  3. Is there really a correlation between penis size and race? What about vagina size and race?
  4. Do old animals get wrinkly, but you can’t tell because it’s under their fur?
  5. In some countries it’s common to have names that are 15+ characters and 5+ syllables long. Those names are confusing to most Americans, but I guess the people in those countries are used to hearing such long names. Or do they get confused as well? Do they have better memory as a result?
  6. How do people with super long nails wipe their butts?
  7. Alcohol is an ingredient in most mouthwashes. Does this mean that those who drink alcoholic beverages have fewer germs in their mouths?
  8. Why is cereal usually eaten with milk? Does anyone eat cereal with water, juice, soda, or beer? (And not by accident, either.)
  9. Why are some bananas more curved and others are more straight?
  10. Is it true that all people think other people’s poop smells worse than their own? (I don’t know if I’m biased, but I’ve heard that vegetarian poop supposedly doesn’t smell as bad as meat eater poop.)
  11. Does anyone else think it sounds stupid—not cute—when adults mimic baby talk?

Random thoughts

1. I feel guilty when it comes to mealtimes on days when I haven’t been productive. Then I remind myself that prison inmates still eat.

2. When I change clothes in my room, I always feel like my stuffed animals are watching me.

3. I have an idea for a bra made of beads. Perhaps I should start my own exotic wear line.

4. I wonder if any crush fetishists find stepping on spiders, cockroaches, crabs, or anything other than small cuddly mammals arousing. How about sea urchins and porcupines?

Not that I want crabs, sea urchins, and porcupines to get stomped to death. Spiders are another story, but stomping out all the spiders will disturb the whole balance of the ecosystem, etc. I don’t approve of crush fetishes anyway.  (I wouldn’t even consider it to be a fetish, since fetishes by definition involve inanimate objects, unless I’m looking at it too narrowly.)

5. I wanted to try red velvet cake only because it was red. I liked it.

6. I ordered Drunken Noodles at a Thai restaurant, simply because of the name. It was good, though super spicy, and I didn’t get drunk from it. (Not that I wanted to.)

7. The Black Knight offers a class but no one dares to take it, because “None shall pass!” (OK, that was a lame joke… but don’t agree!)

8. I want to line the path to my future house with bioluminescent mushrooms. They actually glow all the time, but the light is only discernible in the dark.

9. I don’t think it’s right to criticize people’s singing if you’re not a good singer. However, I have no problem with criticizing people who really don’t deserve widespread audiences.

10. My dream house would have a central courtyard that would have a zen rock garden, and maybe a tiny stream or a fountain.

11. Does anybody’s skin tone actually match the color of adhesive bandages? I always felt bad as a kid when my skin was much darker than band-aids. They were a better match for my sister.

12. Something that has never made sense to me: a pickup truck with a tail fin. It doesn’t match. No offense if you like it.