How to get access to my personal site

I was surprised by the number of requests for access to my personal site, including some from usernames I didn’t immediately recognize. (Don’t worry, I won’t outright reject you. Read on to learn how you can gain access.) Thank you all for your interest. I honestly hadn’t expected any requests. I had only posted the link thinking a few regular readers of this site (who already have access but aren’t following that site) might want to revisit it.

I normally don’t share the link publicly. In the past, I’ve just told people to leave a comment saying they’re interested, and then I’ll send invites to those I felt comfortable letting in.

I have mentioned on my About page how to get access to my personal site, but apparently not everyone reads it. I’ll explain the process in more detail here.

The basic rule is: show me that you’re not a jerk. There have been people who have left comments that are snarky, disrespectful, racist, etc. on my public site. I won’t grant them access to the private one. People who constantly give unsolicited advice are also not welcome.

I just need to observe the types of comments you leave on this blog for some time before I feel comfortable letting you in. I know that it’s not always easy to come up with things to say, but you’re welcome to comment on my old posts. Leaving a thoughtfully written, relevant comment on my post shows me you’re truly interested in what I write. I’ve encountered too many people who follow a bunch of blogs just to try to get people to follow them in return. That’s why, if I’m not already following you, I’ll visit your site after you’ve left a relevant comment on one of my posts.

If you’re a lurker, meaning you just read and never comment, then sorry, I’m not going to grant you access. I don’t want my day to day life, struggles, and insecurities to only be a source of amusement for people. I want actual interaction. It takes me a while to warm up to people, but once I do, I am very loyal.

It’s been a while

I have not posted here for over two months! I’ve still been around to read your posts and regularly update my personal site, but I haven’t felt like writing here as much.

Those of you who follow my personal blog know that in early May I had a terrible cold that took me out for two weeks. After that, the mystery tiredness that I had last year started again.

I’m also not sure which direction I want to take this site. I’ve been wondering if I should make a professional site just for my jewelry, because when people find out I make jewelry, they’ve asked if I have a website showing my work. I’d feel more comfortable pointing them to a jewelry specific site instead of this one. That would also make me feel more comfortable posting whatever I want here, in addition to jewelry. I’m still not certain about converting my hobby to a business, even though people say why not have the hobby pay for itself? Perhaps I am missing out on a business opportunity if some people have expressed interest in buying my jewelry.

I’m going to try to start posting here more regularly again. Thanks for sticking around!

Some of my quirks

I believe that everyone is strange to some extent, in their own way, but we don’t let others in on it. Here is a list of some of my quirks. I’m curious as to which ones apply to you.

1. When someone says something funny, everyone laughs and then moves on. Meanwhile, I can’t help but keep thinking about the funny thing and continue to giggle (sometimes for hours). I’ve gotten in trouble in class several times for it.

2. I do not like artwork depicting people. Likewise, I do my best to avoid having people show up in my photos.

3. When it comes to chips and crackers, I prefer to eat the small, broken pieces first.

4. I can’t appreciate most poetry, with the exception of Robert Frost.

5. When I see people running because they’re in a hurry (and not for exercise), I silently cheer Go! Go! Go! for them in my head.

6. I have little interest in fiction. I tend to only read non-fiction, and when it comes to films, I prefer documentaries.

7. When I was in first grade, I decided to memorize the license plates of both my parents’ cars, because I thought it would be good to know. No one told me to do it.

8. I do not want my stuffed animals to face me while I’m changing clothes. Although I know that they really can’t see, the presence of eyes makes me feel watched. (Thankfully, they reside in another room now.) Edit for clarification: It’s not so much because I feel uncomfortable being watched, but more that I want my stuffed animals to retain their innocence.

9. When I’m indoors and hear someone outside sneeze, I am tempted to shout “bless you!” out the window.

10. I lose my appetite when I see dirt. I can’t eat while on hikes and picnics.

11. When I hear jazz, depending on how it sounds, I either laugh or become irritated. (I’ve tried, but I can’t appreciate jazz.)

12. I don’t regularly wear jewelry, but I enjoy making it. To me, jewelry is more of an art form than an accessory. I appreciate it for its beauty, intricacy, and the technical skill involved in creating it.

13. I regularly talk to a certain stuffed animal, even though I know he really can’t hear me or respond.

14. I tend to think certain inanimate objects have thoughts and feelings, even though rationally, I know they don’t. That’s why it can be hard for me to discard items. I often feel sorry for objects lying at the side of the road, and I don’t like it when people destroy stuff for “entertainment.”

15. I often notice the things that most people overlook. I have easily found tiny objects, such as contact lenses and earring backs, on the floor. Edit: On the flip side, I completely miss things that are large and obvious to other people.

Did any of these strike you as weird or not weird? Which of these apply to you, if any?

Extreme fatigue

You may have noticed that I haven’t been as active here since February. The reason is that I have been dealing with the worst fatigue that I’ve ever experienced. My productivity is half of what it used to be. I still have many drafts in progress but it’s rare for me to find the energy to finish them. My doctor has found something and we’re working on it. Hopefully that solves the problem. That’s all I wish to disclose here.

I miss the old Xanga

After Xanga 2.0 started, I’ve signed in only a few times. I was able to update for a few days until my premium subscription ran out. Since then I’ve gone on every two months or even less frequently to read some people’s blogs. It seems to me that most of the bloggers left are the more mature folks who had money to pay to keep blogging. (I’m not purposely being ageist–that is one thing they all have in common!)

This past year I haven’t been that active of a blogger as I was the year before, but when I was, I primarily stuck to WordPress. I had a Blogger site lying around unused so I initially didn’t want to make any more accounts, but since it looked as though the vast majority of Xangans I knew migrated to WordPress, I decided to, too. Still, I’ve lost 90% of my Xanga friends. WordPress has been fine and it really wasn’t that difficult to learn how to use. The only problem for me is that since there are so many users, it’s hard to find other bloggers with similar interests.

Back when I was on Xanga, I stayed away from the sites that constantly showed up in Top Blogs. Those people get swamped with so much traffic that a little more doesn’t matter to them. Instead, people with less traffic were more likely to check out my site in return. I really liked the “quick browse” function in which I could find recently updated sites. I found some interesting blogs that way.

Due to the suggestions of some finicky Xangans who tried out a bunch of different blogging platforms last summer, I decided to give Blogster a try. It seemed promising at first. It’s good to get a glimpse of who’s on and the recent posts, since that way you can encounter other users easily, but I think because of that feature, people are less likely to subscribe, because they can find you again easily. I’ve read about people complaining about the drama and how there are a ton of arguments about politics and religion. I prefer to avoid those kinds of things. I had moved some of my old Xanga posts that I didn’t want to post here to my Blogster site.

I didn’t want to create a Tumblr because I associate that site with teens, but I’m wondering if I should make a Tumblr blog for my jewelry business (when it happens). Today I discovered that you can use Disqus for comments on Tumblr.

I’ve felt different about WordPress because I think of it as being more sophisticated than Xanga. Since I share my posts on Facebook, I’ve avoided posting about my personal life here. Instead I keep a private blog for my boring personal ramblings. It’s quite challenging to manage multiple blogs at the same time, which is why I’ve devoted most of my effort to this one.

I’m just rambling so I’ll stop now.

My favorite inanimate object

You may have seen pictures of Lee Bay on my blog before, but I have never actually introduced him, so now I will.

Meet Lee Bay!

I thought he looked very happy at the moment, so I took this photo.

Lee Bay is a 29-year-old plush bear that I love dearly. Please don’t ask me what his name means because I have no idea what my 3-year-old mind was thinking at the time. I also am not sure why he has always been a he-bear in my mind. To my amusement, last summer I learned that there is actually a place named Lee Bay!

My mom bought him at TG&Y for my sister, right around Easter of 1985, who later reluctantly ceded him to me. When I say Lee Bay is 29 years old, I mean that we’ve had him for that long. I don’t know how old he really is, but he definitely is older than I. Never did my mom imagine that this $2.99 plush bear would mean so much to me.


Pictures of Lee Bay from when he was new.

Although his fur has faded and fallen out in some areas, and the piece of felt that is his tongue became elongated (it fell off once and my sister stitched it back on), I think he is in pretty good condition for a stuffed animal his age (that children played with regularly).

Out of all inanimate objects, Lee Bay is my favorite. I don’t believe I will be able to find a replica, so he can’t easily be replaced. Unfortunately, the words on his tag have come off a long time ago, so I don’t have any information about him. All I know is that he was made in Korea. I am curious about the person who designed this bear. How did the designer come up with that face that draws me to him?

Unlike other toys that I eventually grew tired of, Lee Bay always looks fresh to me everyday. He stays on my bed, and I hug him and talk to him (even though he can’t respond). But he’s there for me when I am alone and feeling sad at night, so he is a good friend.

Lee Bay retouched.

Originally posted on Xanga 7/7/2011 at 4:30 PM